There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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