wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
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