So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
