there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
