So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
