this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize