I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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