i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
