i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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