haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize