my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Randomize
