its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Terrible idea I love it
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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