you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
