Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Randomize
