the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize
