The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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