I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
