Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
We talked him into tasing himself.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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