Porn is love you can see.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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