Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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