Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Randomize
