i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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