Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
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