4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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