READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Houston, we have a squirter
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
