the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
