apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
