i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
