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So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Randomize
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