So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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