She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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