he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
