I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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