are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
