You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
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Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
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Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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