Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
