we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
