I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize