I wish I could teleport
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
