My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
