i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
