shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
