Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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