:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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