would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
