Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
