"it" just moved
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
