So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
