It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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