seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize