After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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