The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
