After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
