Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
