I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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